Being a youth pastor’s kid is hard. There are tons of memes, lists, and jokes about it, and a lot of them are true. (Most also pertain to preacher’s kids [PKs] in general.)
It’s true that they live in a fishbowl and that more is expected of them. People forget that YPKs are still just kids and will, in fact, act like normal kids. It’s unfair to expect otherwise.
At the same time as they are held to a higher standard, YPKs can be negatively stereotyped. Who hasn’t heard rebellious PK stories and jokes? If they aren’t expected to be perfect and set an example for other kids, they are expected to be the ones behind the scenes causing all the trouble.
It’s true that they are volunteered (or voluntold) for everything the youth group does. When the youth pastor asks for teens to put their names on the sign-up sheets, the YPKs names are already on it. My kids got up before 5:00 a.m. to volunteer at a football game in the cold. I’m sure at least one of them would have rather slept in on a Saturday curled up under the covers.
Every time a child is mentioned in a lesson, the rest of the teens assume it is about the youth pastor’s kid, though it rarely is. We just finished a series on how kids and parents relate to one another and communicate. I remember giving an example and everyone “ooooh-ed” and looked at my daughter. It literally had nothing to do with her.
Youth group is an escape for some kids. Not for YPKs. Their parents are always there-at EVERY youth group function. They know all. They see all. They introduce themselves to every boy who talks to their teenage daughter.
I’m sure my kids could add several more to this list, but you get the point.
However, I always tell kids to look for the positive in things. We will be much more content in life if we do. As I was perusing youth pastor and PK memes ( they are funny because they do have truth to them), I began to think, “Okay, there are a lot of positives to growing up as a youth pastor’s kid too.”
So, for my kids and any other YPKs out there who may read this, I’ve started a list for you. The next time you are thinking about how much it sucks sometimes to have your parent(s) be your youth pastor(s), remind yourself of these things (and try to add more):
- You get to eat the left-over snacks. You didn’t win the game, but you are eyeballing that peanut butter cup hoping none of the winners take it, because you’ll ask your mom for it once youth group is over. Oh, and that 2-liter that was for the kid who didn’t show up, you’ll be drinking that tonight.
- You get to help plan events and activities. You are an honorary member of the advisory committee as a teen representative anytime your parents need a teen opinion about which games, snacks, times, etc. they should pick for an event.
- You know about everything before any of the other teens. You don’t have to wait for details. You know from the early planning stages and get to share your opinion (see #2). The other teens ask you for information.
- You never have to worry about a ride to youth group; and you’re never late. You don’t miss any of the fun.
- You know you’ll always be allowed to go to church camp-which is a bonus if you look forward to it every year. Otherwise it fits into the top list.
- You overhear the tea. (But don’t spill it.) Especially if you live in a small house. Your parents talk loudly and forget the walls are thin, and you have to sit at the church and wait while all the leaders discuss something-which means you might know why that parent was mad, or just what the deal is with that “one kid,” or why a leader had to pull a teen aside and “have a chat.”
- You are given special opportunities in the church and district because people know your family and trust you. You are in ministry too, like it or not. But, like it-because ministry can be really fun and rewarding and when more than one person wants to volunteer for a fun opportunity, often you have a leg-up. (Though you have to show yourself deserving to keep getting those opportunities.)
- You never have to wait to talk to your youth pastors about something that’s bothering you. They are always right there. Most kids have to call or wait until the next youth group service and pull a leader aside.
- Your parents truly appreciate the sacrifices you make and the help you give to keep the youth group thriving. They notice. And they are super-proud. God also notices. And He is super-proud
Paynefully True 