I said a phrase the other day that I don’t think I’ve ever said before. I’m not big on clichés ( I actually internally cringe sometimes when I hear people use certain ones), but I guess when you hear something enough, it can sometimes slip out of your own mouth.
I was feeling sorry for myself about something that didn’t work out the way I wanted it to, and I told my mom, “That’s just par for the course.” I obviously said it to mean that things like that happen all the time to me, but it got me thinking.
Before I had all my kids, I played on a ladies golf league. I remember being ecstatic any time I got par on a hole. It is my understanding that par is the number of strokes the “experts” have determined a good golfer should need to sink the ball. We as a society have decided that “good” isn’t good enough. I’m all for trying your hardest to excel and be above average, but if the idea is to not be satisfied with “good,” what happens when good is the best you can do?
I think this idea is one of the things that sets us up for comparison and self-degradation. We say things like, “Yes, I know I’m a good mom, but I’m not good enough,” or, “Yes, I know I did a good job on that project, but it wasn’t good enough.” We compare ourselves to others and think, “I’m good, but she/he is better,” or “I can do that, but not that.”
Yes, we need to be the best version of ourselves that we can. Yes, there are days we need to push ourselves a little harder. We don’t want to be complacent with average if we have the time and ability to be excellent. However, there are many nights that when I rack up my score for the day I feel that I am well above par (which is bad in golf, right). So, with that in mind, I try really hard to enjoy the days in which I am at least “on par.”
Perhaps, we are the best people to determine what par is for our own days. If we are constantly hitting well below, then maybe our par is set too high and we are ready for a lower number to strive towards. If we just can’t seem to ever get par, then maybe we have set our par too low and a little recalculation is needed. And maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t so much with us personally and our abilities. Maybe the problem is that we need to look into new equipment.