The Loss of a Relationship and the End of a Life-Season

I am going through an especially difficult breakup and as a result am experiencing a period of mourning. The relationship began over 13 years ago and I came to love my “partner.” It was an on-again, off-again relationship for the most part. There were periods of time in which I saw this person often, followed by stretches of only yearly visits. This person shared four of the most important and memorable experiences of my life. She supported me at my most vulnerable and was my advocate in making sure my wishes were carried out. How do you say goodbye to a relationship like that?

I have to admit, I cried a little when she gently told me I had to find another. I knew it would come eventually, but it seemed sudden to me. I sat across the small table from her as my mind and heart tried to reconcile that it would never be the same again. She had been just what I needed during a long, memorable, and life-changing season of my life. I couldn’t imagine what my childbearing years would have been without her. She most definitely chose the right profession.

She was everything I ever wanted in a midwife. She was kind, caring, funny, no-nonsense, and she knew just what I needed and wanted to hear. She was concerned for all of me: mind, body, and spirit. She got me, and I imagine most of her patients felt the same way. I often thought we could be friends outside of the office setting.

How does one mourn the end of a unique relationship such as that? There are stages and tips for mourning the death of a loved one, the end of a romantic relationship, and even tips for doctors of patients who die or move away.

I guess I will find my own way. As we both move on (myself figuratively and she literally) I will remember our relationship with fondness, appreciation, thankfulness, and occasionally with a tear in my eye. I won’t forget the gift she was to my family and I will pray that she will be blessed as she continues to bless others.


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